i.am

how many years did I wait
unconciously 
for this day, for this
time, moment, second
of your recognition
of my existence.

in you, I searched
for the proof that I am worthy
the evidence that I
am not a child of regret
but I searched in the wrong heart
I searched in the wrong mind

how can you feel blameless
without shame,
you evade guilt like a
seasoned vagabond
the wrongs of years ago
forgotten, not forgiven

I am.
I am everything,
without you.
No hair on my head
or thought in my mind,
blemish upon skin
is yours.

I take my leave of you
til time matures
and thrusts light upon
the shadowy mass
of my thoughts
unimpressed, I turn away

----------------------

written a few weeks ago? cnt remember

on top

on top
of the world is a pleasant place
to be,
as long as the world stays below
you

insinuation is what you-yes you
is what you do best
with a grin of steel
locked like bank-vault doors

as long as you stay on top
and send your beams of pity down
and condescend with false grace

we will stay,
hide
with closed eyes staring the other way
you will stay on top
we will stay below.

------------------

written last year.

Old Stuff.

Some old poems I wrote. In order of "oldness".


as I recall this was written in....March?

Le Lion.

You are guilt
and you are shame

You are hurt
and you are fear

And you rip my soul to shreds

You are agony
and pain

You are bared teeth
and sharpened claws
Your roar would shake the earth
Your jaws could rip and tear

And my soul is torn apart

My lion, my false-hearted lion

---------------------------------

------------------------

Malignant.

Weariness enfolds you
Sickness haunts you
Have you grown thinner
Than you were before?

You feel frail and fragile
You look tired and fatigued

Is it us? With our mistakes
Our demands, tantrums
and stamping feet
That leech your vitality?

Is it the sadness and emptiness
In the ring on your left hand

Til death do you part,
til death do you part
will we see the truth in that soon?
----------------------------------


Longest post ever

Waltz

I can dance this dance,
just as well as you.
I can dance this dance,
it only takes two.

Harmonious in the starlight
is the music that speaks
of summertime and bright eyes
and lovers falling in love

It speaks to us of beauty and wonder
and splendour, of everything there is to love
and be.

It is a faint wish,
a slight desire
that there will be a hand outstretched
warm, and comforting
to lead me onto the dancefloor

To
twirl me around in dazzling colours
and flood my world with vivid feeling
to dip me and spin me
one step, two step.

To lead me on a promenade
of a silk smooth
wood floor,while the patrons dining
watch on, watch on.

Shall we dance like lovers,
Shall we dance like friends,
the last pair at the very end
Gliding along in something like romance
Something like beauty or grace
All night, could I dance

I can dance this dance,
just as well as you.
I can dance this dance,
It only takes two.

So give me your arm, and lead the way.
Save me this dance, just this one dance,
save your last dance,
for me.

IGCSE

Yesterday was our Senior Formal.
Boys looked suave.
Girls looked gorgeous.
Mr Mark wore a leopard print suit.

Jours de conge

Sophia.


I like the simple things you do.
Like pad up the stairs
And pretend I'm a dragon.

I find it funny when you
dance to music. Because your limbs fly everywhere
And you dance off beat.

I like how you have such a small face,
but BettyBoop-eyes.
You look like a cartoon character.

You like to throw tantrums.
When you don't get what you want
And you kick and you scream and I
can't stand it.

But you are five, after all.
And I love you anyway.

-------------------------------------
I can't evaluate this poem, because for me its pretty crap. But I love it because it's about my sister.

Long days

Again I've gone into what I call "super manga phase". Where I decide to read a manga, and get so hooked I can't stop.
Damn.
I don't know all the jargon that goes with anime/manga or the slang or whatever. Actually, I pretty much know nothing. All I know is that some of the artwork is amazing, and that some of the stories are pretty good.
Right now I'm reading Naruto :) That kid is hilarious. And also an idiot but very cool nonetheless. Knowing me I'll be up until all hours of the night reading it online *sigh* oh well, its just like what a really good book does to me. Like when I read Lucky by Alice Sebold. I couldn't put it down, it was so absorbing.

No poetry today. Maybe tomorrow.