i.am

how many years did I wait
unconciously 
for this day, for this
time, moment, second
of your recognition
of my existence.

in you, I searched
for the proof that I am worthy
the evidence that I
am not a child of regret
but I searched in the wrong heart
I searched in the wrong mind

how can you feel blameless
without shame,
you evade guilt like a
seasoned vagabond
the wrongs of years ago
forgotten, not forgiven

I am.
I am everything,
without you.
No hair on my head
or thought in my mind,
blemish upon skin
is yours.

I take my leave of you
til time matures
and thrusts light upon
the shadowy mass
of my thoughts
unimpressed, I turn away

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written a few weeks ago? cnt remember